Betrayal

There is nothing as hurtful as putting your trust in someone, only for them to betray it.  I am slow to trust someone, but when I do, I would give them the shirt off my back.

Trust can take years to build,but only a second to break.  Kelly Clarkson sings, "Have you ever been low? Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?When the truth came out...Were you the last to know?" 

A professional betrayal is bad enough, but when one is dumb enough to mix business and friendship, then the hurt is twice as bad.  When I started my business, I did it with the help of my best friend.  That is not a decision to take lightly.  So many things could go wrong.  The business could fail, the friendship could fail.  In this case, both thrived and we emerged unscathed, thank goodness.


But I have not always been so lucky.  My credo at the beginning of this business venture was to be the boss I never had.  I wanted to be the type of boss that my staff could feel comfortable talking to about anything, and I wanted us to always have an open dialogue going.  Yeah, that didn't work too well.  After histrionics, some backstabbing and a few other betrayals, I have come to the conclusion that the experts are right.  You cannot be friends with your employees.  


 Here are my "wise" hiring choices.  I gave a job to someone who had made several bad choices and noone was willing to hire her.  I gave her a chance and she paid me back by badmouthing me to family members.  Really?  I gave someone else a second chance and she spent more time whining and crying than doing her job.  Another second chancer?  Left me in the lurch - twice.  


And now, someone I considered an employee as well as a close friend has hurt me in a way I didn't think possible.  After tossing and turning all night, I know that I am faced with the decision to terminate her and it's killing me.  But a friend is supposed to be someone you can count on through all things, good and bad.  An employee should be dependable.  When a person is neither, it's time to cut the strings.  


So, what have I learned from this experience?  Not mixing business and friendship may be too extreme, but I will be much more cautious in the future about my relationships with my staff.  I may be friendly, but that's it.  I will remain being the boss.  



It can be lonely at the top.