Betrayal

It's 11 p.m. and I can't sleep because I can't turn my brain off.  Although this is a fairly frequent occurrence, I have a lot weighing on me tonight and I have a feeling that I won't be able to sleep until I get it off my chest.

Families can be so complex.  They can be dysfunctional, aggravating at times, but normally underneath all that lies a foundation of love and trust.  When that foundation has been torn apart by lies, betrayal and other things, it can shake a family to the core.  It certainly has in my family.

Without going into a lot of detail, I will just say that a sibling has spent his life concocting so many lies, so many complicated lies, that they've become their own tapestry of stories that I think even he believes.  He has lied twice about having a terminal disease, he's stolen from just about everyone in the family, mostly my mom and ran a business, my previous business, into the ground.  On top of that, he owes his landlord over $11,000 that he's not paid and has now declared bankruptcy again, so he can get away with not paying.  And he's living in a house that my own mother is paying for.

But to me, the worst thing that he's done is lied about something very dear to my heart.  He's claimed that he served six years in the Air Force and I know that to be a complete lie.  He never served a day. For someone like me, a totally disabled veteran, this kind of lie fouls the service of every soldier, sailor, airman and marine out there.  It besmirches everything that they have ever done for this country.  He's also dishonored the memory of our ancestors, who served with great honor in their lifetimes.  I bet they're turning over in their graves.  I used to look at websites, such as Stolen Valor with just a glimpse, wondering how anyone could lie about something this important.  Now, I have to face the fact that my own brother belongs on that page because if his lies.

What's even more painful is watching my own mother try to hold on to self-respect, knowing that her son has no moral compass whatsoever.  But, as a mother, I understand that part of her that tries to find some good in him, some redeeming quality to make her loving him worthwhile.  It hurts me to see her so disillusioned and unwilling to accept him for what he is.

He has caused so much irreparable harm in our family that my own mother won't speak to me anymore because I will not sit idly by and let him get away with his lies.  I challenge him and it was too much for my mother, so she's now totally withdrawn.

Ughhh, I hope getting this out will let me finally get some sleep.  Good night.